Well, Happy New Year everyone! After what felt like a 2 day break (ahem….try 3 weeks) I am back and ready to figure out what’s in store for this space in 2016. I really hope you all had a great holiday and are kicking January’s butt. I have a lot of fun ideas in store for A Party of Four this year and can’t wait to get the ball rolling. Today though, we’re kicking it old school with some life stuff. It’s important to me that as I start this year, I start it honestly, and encouraged.
I wrote a post at the beginning of last year about how important it was going to be for me to try and thrive where I was. I was struggling with feeling stuck and not advancing to the place I thought our family should be. So I wrote that post to remind myself to focus on the word Thrive for the rest of the year. Today, I thought maybe I could update on how that went.
In that post, I wrote a little bit about how Jake and I were feeling like we were in the weeds and that moving home was something ever-present in our minds. But we had put those thoughts to rest because it seemed like an escape route, and it wasn’t exactly do-able at the time. Fast forward to May of this year, we had moved home after 3 years in Florida. Everything kind of came crashing down so quickly, retreating and restarting was what seemed like the most logical next step. Florida just wasn’t going to work for our family anymore. We needed our community and we needed to be happy. Jake, our family’s rock, especially needed to come home.
So we’ve been here for a little over 8 months now. We have settled in as much as possible. We are living with my grandmother, and starting over from scratch. I haven’t really gone into detail on where we are living etc. because it wasn’t something I really had come to accept. It’s hard to go from having your own home, kitchen, schedule and way of life to what feels like 100 steps backward. It was very hard for me in the beginning to keep my chin up, because it felt a lot like failure. It took me months to find a groove for the girls and myself. Sharing a space with kids comes with a lot of adjustment. We went from having a 3 bedroom home to being in pretty close quarters for a while. That was hard on me. I felt a huge amount of guilt, and there was also that nagging selfishness.
Then Jake started school, and he started chasing after something that has been a dream for quite some time. He finished his class later a little over a month ago and this coming Summer will begin classes toward his RN. He took his EMT practicals and passed his state board test last month! Seeing these things fall into place for him remind me that this is why we are home. This is why we are living with my grandmother. This is why it was time to start over.
It has reminded me to keep blooming where I am. While it’s been such a tough road for me personally, this move was just another season of growth for me. I am still thriving, just in a different environment. I think that when I wrote that post back in January, without realizing it, it was something I would need to see later on in the year. Funny how that works out.
Things are difficult here, but the stress we had before is no more. We don’t have the same burdens that we were so used to carrying. Jake and I sit and talk all the time about how even if where we are physically living isn’t ideal for any of us, everything still feels 10 tons lighter. That in itself is so worth it. Our marriage is breathing easier now and in turn, everything is much less stressful.
Growth is always going to be hard, and it’s ugly sometimes but I’m finding ways to be thankful for our fresh start, even if it’s back to square one, I’m still thriving.
This year, my focus is going to be on balance. 2015 was really great for this space specifically. A Party of Four did a lot of growing, which I am so thankful for! I owe a lot of that to you, my readers. It has given me a way to go from a stay at home mom to a work at home mom. That transition is not easy at all though. So this year I am focusing on balancing being mom & wife first a foremost, followed by homeschooling and A Party of Four. Balancing it all is going to be a learning process, but I am confident that I can figure it out!
So, tell me below, do you have a word for the new year? Have you ever had to start over from square one in life? Any advice?