I always thought the quote “If mama aint happy, aint nobody happy” was another one of those phrases that made the matriarch of a family the most important person in the house. Like, you better make sure she’s happy, or your life will be a living hell. Which I really, really don’t agree with. But over the last few months, I have figured out a way to apply it to my life.
As a stay at home mom, I am the main cog that keeps things in motion in the home. I make sure everyone is fed, clean and taken care of. I manage my household, to put it simply. I also have a bigger role. One I think isn’t talked about a lot when we talk about homemakers.That is, I set the tone for all of our lives. In the morning, if I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and I let that run over into my morning, my kids pick up on it. If I’m in a mood when it’s time to get Jake up in the afternoon, he will more than likely start his day on a crappy note because that is just the vibe that I have set in motion that day.
Sometimes it feels unfair. Like, why can’t I just have a bad day? Why do I have to be the one who stays positive in stressful situations?
The answer is simple: because it’s not about me. My purpose in life, in marriage and in being a mom is to make my family better. It is to ensure that my home is a peaceful place. I am a home maker. My job is to manage my house on the surface level, but it is also my duty to make it a nurturing, safe and happy place to be. I don’t want my husband to leave for work at night, more stressed than he should be because I didn’t check my attitude that day. I don’t want my kids to shy away from me because “mommy is in a bad mood today”.
I’m not saying I don’t have bad days. Because I do. Recently I had a very long string of bad days, and it took a serious toll on my family. The tension that I added to our house was palpable. I’m also not saying that Jake is without the responsibility of helping me keep our home happy. I just feel like as moms and wives, we are called to be the rock to lean on. We are called to put ourselves behind our families and raise them up.
Being a mom and wife is such an amazing privilege. I take it seriously. I want to be the person in 18 years who can smile at the women my girls have become. I want to know my bond with my husband is unbreakable because I did my part to strengthen our marriage. I want to know that every day I did my best to reinforce our family. Because at the end of the day, when we sit back and turn on the DVR, it is much more rewarding to breathe a sigh of “well that was a day full of love and happiness and now I am exhausted” than a sigh of “thank God this day is over.”
We have the power to build our homes, or destroy them from the inside out. Which will you choose today?